Yes...I am a Redneck!

So, have you ever driven an ATV? I did this weekend and I had a blast. We hiked up to Smithsburg for Frank's 25th (yes, he is that old) high school reunion. Scott "Big Money" Phillips invited us to his sister's farm where they keep their cattle and donkeys. We thought it would be fun for the kids to see the cows again and to see the new animals too. The farm is located over winding roads with dips and hills that make the stomach flip. Good times.
We arrived as Julie's (Scott's sister ) husband Dale was bring the ATV's out of the barn. I'll admit it - I was a little hesitant at first. Did they really think I was going to drive one of these? He asked who didn't know how to drive stick and of course mine was the only hand to go up (can you say "loser'?). So it was decision time - was I going to wuss out or go figure out how to drive one of these things. I stepped up and said I'll take the automatic (I think it's good to know your limitations).
Dale gave me a brief (less than 30 seconds) lesson in TV operation and said,"Go on, git." Alright, he didn't really say those exact words, but something like it. Bella hopped on behind me and held on for dear life - which was a good thing. I started off down the gravel lane pretty slowly. But, I began to build confidence and before I knew it I was driving pretty fast. We went carefully down hills and over the pasture sure to avoid the cow patties.
Soon we found ourselves at an impasse. There was a tree down in front of us and no where to go but back. The path was narrow, but a 5- point-turn later and we were back on our way through the mud. We did get a little stuck, so I threw it in High gear and floored it. Bella was a little grossed out when the mud and poo started flinging up on us, but she didn't mind too much.
We drove up the hill and parked for a while near the cows and donkeys. Dale knows many of the cows by name. Scott and Karen Phillips and their kids own four of them and they were trying to figure out who was who. Dale came along and named each one. They treat them a little like pets (until the slaughter that is). I think I may be buying my beef from them from now on though.
Bella was loving farm life as she trekked along the pasture. Until she put her filp-flopped foot in a huge cow pie. Her foot came out but her shoe didn't. Thankfully there was a hose near-by and we got the poo out from between her toes and off her shoe.
We hopped back on the ATV's and headed back to the barn and chilled for a little while as the youngsters (Colson included ) took turns driving the Gator (a golf cart on steroids). He had the biggest smile on his face. Frank and I then raced around the farm without the kids. I had a ball going as fast as I could. I charged the big hill and whipped around curves. The downhills slowed me a little but I got more confident the more I did it.
Needless to say I had an awesome time. I'm ready to buy a farm, some livestock and some ATV"s so I can survey my land. Of course that's easy to say from my cozy office in my suburban house with a grocery store and Starbucks less than 5 minutes away. But it is something to think about.