I Am Scared...

Sometimes when you see a movie you say to yourself, "Boy, I'm glad I didn't see that in the theater." Usually when one makes such a statement it is because the movie is pretty bad. This was not the case tonight: Frank and I watched "I Am Legend" (at home in our cozy den in our happy house in our pleasant neighborhood). The reason I am glad I did not see this movie in the theater is because I would have been embarrassed by my behavior had anyone other than Frank seen me. I was breathing heavily, my heart raced. I got up and walked out of the room. I closed my eyes. I hid behind a pillow (what am I 10 -I haven't done that since I watched "Jaws"). I had an upset stomach and I even talked to Will Smith. "Get back in the car, forget the dog!" and "Close the door...close the door...close the damn door Will."
Don't get me wrong, I loved this movie. I'd like to watch it again. But shit, I was really scared. The suspense nearly killed me. My stomach still hurts a little. When it was over we had to watch a little Mad TV to take the edge off. Then I was afraid to be downstairs by myself. How could Frank want to go to bed at a time like this? But here I sit in the basement. Alone. My cat Tiger is staring at me which is a little unsettling. Otherwise I am calming down somewhat. Breathing is returning to normal.
I can remember a time when I could watch "A Nightmare on Elm Street" without flinching. The "Halloween" and "Friday the 13th" movies were a breeze to watch. What the heck happened? How did I become a Nervous Nelly. Heck, I work in the damn business and I know what goes into shooting something like that. The dark seekers had to sit through hours of makeup. Some poor wardrobe assistant had to shred and sand countless pairs of pants and shirts to age the costumes. There were probably 50 people standing around on the other side of the camera eating donuts. Some PA was getting yelled at by a producer for screwing up Will Smith's Starbucks order. And yet, with that knowledge I was still very uncomfortable. Waiting....waiting...waiting for the dark seeker to come out and show his horrible self.
What happened to me? I had a life-size cut-out of Freddie Krueger in my dorm room and posters of him on my walls- right next to my bed! I slept like a champ (through classes even). I yearn for the days when I can watch a scary movie. I recently closed my eyes and plugged my ears while watching a commercial for "The Strangers". A commercial. Hello? Why? Is it because I am a mother? Is it because I am older? Does age have an affect on your scare tolerance? Or have I just watched too many Disney and other G-rated movies and I need to build up my tolerance.
Perhaps it's like alcohol: if you drink more it takes you longer to get drunk. So, if I watch more scary movies I will better tolerate the suspense, thus enjoying the film so much more.
I think I need to go back to my old ways. I lost touch with horror around the time of the "Scream" series. I could rent a few older, milder films made before the effects were more realistic, back when the hacking scenes were kind of funny. Maybe watch one a month. Slowly build up to "Saw" or "The Ring". Maybe I could even see "The Happening" in the theater. Maybe I'll go see it tomorrow. I've always been more of a cold turkey type than one to take baby steps.
Yes, I have some catching up to do. I've been on the wagon for to damn long. I think it's time for a little horror binge.